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moral objectification- your questions answered

Opinions on hookup culture?? I get so triggered when people tell me hooking up is objectifying- but doesn’t dating just to get married and be with someone objectify your partner in the same way?”

Ok, there’s a lot of words happening here! If I am being honest, I had to read the latter like 4 times and still don’t fully understand what these people are telling you. Before we even get to objectification, let’s talk about “hookup culture.”

My simplified, ideal definition of hookup culture is: people who are there just to have fun and do so! Key phrase- just there to have fun. Is it objectification if all parties are truly there to do as the title says? I don’t think so, and if it is, maybe it’s… moral objectification? Everyone involved is there…. consenting to objectify each other I guess? To put it plainly: they just want to fuck!

Where objectification and hookup culture can get ~unmoral~ is when it becomes a mix of dating and hookup culture. Remember, by my ideal definition: hookup culture is literal. It’s tricky as hooking up is part of dating “culture.” But, I don’t think the reverse can work. As soon as dating becomes involved, it’s no longer “hook up culture.” Unfortunately, most people don’t have the backbone to explicitly state their boundaries between the two. 

I talk about this in How To Be A Man a bit, because I secretly think communication can feel harder in hookups than in relationships. When you’ve been dating someone for 2 years, you probably (I hope) know how to express your boundaries to your partner. Although it may be awkward, it’s crucial everyone, especially those in need of it- just talk. Literally just say your feelings. Don’t be rude, obviously, but if you need those lines clearly drawn or need confusion cleared up, don’t hesitate to ask. Save yourself unnecessary stress- isn’t that the whole point of “hookup culture?”

So, to answer the latter of your question, I guess marriage is the ultimate moral objectification. People gathering an entire group of people to watch them declare publicly: they morally fuck.