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freshman are ruining my life

My secret is that I am actually a college student, and have been for 3 years. I’ve tried to maintain a “career,” education, and a social life. Obviously the pandemic has made only education just barely possible. When I got into a performing arts high school in 8th grade, I was so excited to meet people like me. I thought the reason I didn’t end up befriending many students there was because theater brings out the worst in most people. So, I decided to go to comedy school- which is a decision we can get into another time. On a social level though, I was stoked to be around people who also did the thing I loved and wanted to pursue. But, it happened again- even though a lot of my peers are just as passionate as I am about comedy and film, it turns out that can actually be its own subsection of terrible. I have come to terms with the fact that no matter where I go, there will be people I don’t like.

I don’t know why I had pictured a location where people like the same thing to equate friendship. I guess I always pictured it as a Divergent type, where we all have factions of the world and when we find them we exist and play there forever. This also could have been a coping mechanism to get through middle/high school/college. But, not clicking with people is something that as a human I should get used to. Sure, I can do that- fine! 

BUT- There is a difference between me not becoming besties with someone, and a bunch of freshmen I have never met being the reason for the lockdown of a school of less than 3,000 kids. Because now, I am not just holding in my rage and dislike towards the people who semi-effect me. Now, I am being aggressively affected by a likely terrible dorm party (on a floor of COMEDY MAJORS of all cursed locations!!!) These people have consequently shut productions, BFA’s, finals- things many of us who have been responsible have been working towards our entire college careers.

I too miss hanging out in a group of friends. But, your shitty dorm party has now resulted in chaos and disappointment. I’ve never given into the idea that upperclassmen are smarter than underclassmen, because I think people of all ages can be stupid. So, I will of course not blame an entire graduating class. But, I WILL blame whoever the hell those kids are. And yes, those people are kids to me, because only children would put the entire college into lockdown just so they could try to hookup with someone.

I can deal with not loving theater kids. I can even deal with people who can’t stop doing bits. But, I absolutely CANNOT deal with having another semester of my titular years of college go to waste. And for the debt I’m in…. These kids better start writing me checks because I will find a pro bono lawyer and come for that money!! 

I hope you have a more peaceful week than I did. I also hope you are somewhere in your life where terms like “upperclassmen” and “freshman” aren’t super important. I will not be complaining about this on Twitter, as to not get caught- that’s why I put all my secrets on a blog, because I know no matter what I do, they will not read it<3 Something about paragraphs scares people, but I’m loving this 1-page book vibe. 

Xoxoxo send my your questions

rubes