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how to be a man, by me, a woman: thoughts and opinions

This is Part 3 of my series How To Be A Man, By Me, A Woman

It seems as though when I post small sections of my blog on social media, men who haven’t read my full article see words like “sex” or “porn” and immediatley feel inclined to tell me their opinion. You seem to have missed the point; I have no interest in hearing your thoughts on the subject, just how you seemed to not care about mine, as you didn’t even read my full post. Which, if you would’ve, you’d discover I had actually addressed your “opinions.” 

Men do this often- it’s a way for them to feel they’ve done their “duty.” Their manly mission- “surely, everyone- particularly women- needs a man’s help!” 

This is the mental illness that is being a man- but, with therapy and lots of self-reflection, it can be cured. 

As a woman, in almost any setting, you are forced to learn when to speak. When to insert yourself. My mom raised me to speak my mind whenever I felt like it- but it’s not her fault that in rooms full of men, I am forced to be calculated.

 A man in a room full of women is free to feel like he’s in heaven. A woman in a room full of men has to acknowledge fear. 

Men are raised in a world that it appears they run. They can just get away with shit. But, in my world, the world I am trying to teach you, men, about- that’s not how it works. You must think like a woman- meaning before you speak, you must think. “Is this thought for me to say something, or is this thought saying something?” 

If you just want attention, do what women have trained themselves to do, a skill we’ve mastered- post a thirst trap. You can achieve your goal of getting attention without mansplaining. 

It’s not that your thoughts/feelings don’t matter, they just don’t matter to us. Have all the thoughts, opinions, rants- internally- as you want. But, some things don’t need to be said, particularly on the internet. 

Imagine a world where nobody had to be calculated- all thoughts completely unfiltered, off the cusp, improv-ing life. That would literally be the worst world ever. It is appropriate to read the room, to think about how your words impact it. Yes, I don’t understand how all men wear the same 3 shirts their whole lives, but I’d never ask them to their faces. 

Time and place, people. Time and place!

xoxo rubes

Part 4: Dating Coming Soon

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